6 Month Monster

Hello!

Things have been going well here and pretty spot on average for Little Man. I guess that’s why I haven’t wrote much. I do get moments of time that I could spare. It’s not like I’ve been going to Mommy and Me classes every day – in fact, our first one was yesterday where I met up with our neighbour and her 8 month old boy at our local library for a giant play date. I love babies and they were everywhere, haha so cute. Two women asked for my number so I felt pretty special that I have 2 potential new friends.

Little Man is starting to master sitting and is finally on-a-roll with rolling. He’ll make his way across his blanket, he just needs to practice going in the other direction.

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Earlier this month I went up north to visit my best friends (thanks to them and Man for flying me out). I was having a bout of anxiety for a couple of months to do with the kid’s mom. Because of that, everything seemed to be weighing me down more than average. I needed to get away and reset and this was perfect. I really felt like I was losing myself, not happy, very serious and consistently flowing with waves adrenaline. I bought a bunch of books, and in true-to-myself fashion have read chunks of them in the amount of time I could have read them all. Oh well. I do reference them when I feel my heart rate rising and hands getting clammy. We decided it was best for me to be kept in the dark with matters of that woman, as much as I want to be Man’s partner and help him deal with anything. I just can’t handle it anymore. It’s been over 6 years and hasn’t gotten easier when she has one of her crazed series. I think that’s another reason I haven’t wrote, just talking about this and nothing bad is currently happening raises my BP just ever so slightly. One thing I read that sticks with me: people with anxiety tend to handle situations very polar – good or bad. Without leaving much room for grey, it can make one’s world seem to be very out of control instantly. My boy has been my rock. There were days I had to tell myself to smile at him because he was innocent and doesn’t deserve anything but mom’s smile. It was forced and hard to do. Man has helped me find that grey area, “Can we change it, no. Can we fix it, no. Then there’s nothing we can do but deal with things if/when the time comes”. I want to be Man’s shoulder when he needs it, but I need to worry about my own mental health now because he handles these things better than me.

Widdle Test Anxiety

http://www.gozen.com/transforming-test-anxiety-with-a-mindset-shift/

Enough of that, back to my visit up north. While Little Man and I were in GP, he experienced a full week at a crazy noisy house with a 14 month old and 2.5 year old, and a very loud and loving aunty. At first he cried with every loud noise, but then he  began to observe, and by the end of the week he was reaching to touch his new friends only flinching when a scream was a bit close to his face. He tried swings for the first time and swimming as well, loved both! He also became a pro at “solid” food. Bye-Bye sweet smelling poos… They now smell like zoo-poos. Grand. (He is still on the boob as well).

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We also went to 2 baby group things while we were up there at a “parent-link” centre. The first one was my first ever and I’m glad my friend was there to ease me in. It was still a disaster. I’m talking about some crawling baby knocking over my coffee, because like an idiot I thought hiding it under a shelf beside where I was sitting was ENOUGH haha. So as I tried to prevent said child from putting hands into scalding spilled Timmies, I failed to notice Little Man slump down onto his face from his spot between my legs. Some dad thankfully came over to lift him up as I was frantically trying to pull this powerhouse child away from my liquid lava, all while frantically eyeing the room for his parent. Some other mom decided this was enough and took her baby to the other side of the room (thanks for the help biotch) and proceeded to STEP ON MY BABY. Yes. This was during the instant that Coffee-Baby’s mom finally came over and apologized so I was looking at her, then I saw Little Man well up as Godzilla walked by and I thought it was just because of all the activity plus a delayed reaction to his face plant. I told him “you’re okay” in a soft voice, and Stompin’ Sister revealed she may have accidentally stepped on him. My poor boy. Anyways. He’s alive… and so is she. So we survived nearly the worst case scenario that an introvert could imagine for one of these group meets.
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He did so well on the flights, even though we missed the flight there and were “in transit” for about a total of 5 hours. I ended up having to nurse him on the second flight (not necessary unless you miss your direct flight…) but luckily was next to a grandma of abut 120 kids and no longer the down-to-business man in the leather jacket from the first flight. No crying, just a bit or boredom. The flight home he slept in my arms and it was just so precious.

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Baby wearing is key at the airport!

We are finally getting the basement finished for A‘s room / guest space and bathroom when we have company. We get to see both kids dance at the end of May for their recital! I love watching A dance, and now we get to see her little broski dance as well. His crew has been doing really well!

PS. if you’re interested, feel free to add me to Instagram @Doratti (I post more frequently there and Facebook). You can email me for Facebook deets if you’d like.

More pics and a video… maybe
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Swing time

Entering week 15

Or nearing 4 months. 

Life at home with this little man has been something really treasured. When I say nearing 4 months it’s makes me realize how little I’ve gotten done. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’ve had the time to just concentrate on Little Man and keeping the house in tidy, running condition. I guess I just felt like I’d have a novel half completed by now, or a master’s degree (not actually … One could dream). 

I am considering creating my own business in the sense of working for myself as a contracting company and applying for my old job when the position is open again in July (instead of being hired and working through my old contracting company). That’s months before my mat leave is up but if that’s what I have to do to ensure we are making money after mat leave, then maybe I have to do it.  I could save that company money and yet ask for a little more per hour…I just don’t think we can afford for me to stay home, but man do I want to. However, as the days goes on and the price of oil continues to drop and companies continue to purge their contractors and employees, I wonder if it would even be beneficial. If that spot is even still available, who knows how long it will last. So in that sense, maybe I just go back through the contracting company and each month I work is just more $ than what we would have if I was on mat leave, and if I get laid off, so be it. 

It’s scary times. We can all hate oil, but it’s uses go beyond fuel and there’s people behind the production, retrieval, maintenance, operations etc of it. Normal, not just “the 1%”, people with families and livelihoods. Theft and depression looms over the province. What does Calgary have (economy wise) if it doesn’t have oil. It’s one of the largest, if not thee largest, cities in North America (land coverage, not population) and people are moving away. We can’t charge people to come walk through our beautiful parks, we (all) can’t own / operate small businesses. Even our health services have to downsize due to less funding. Moving companies seem to be one of the few bustling industries right now. That and psychologists who are backed up for weeks. Housing of course has dropped so you can’t even recover by downsizing. Hopefully we can adapt. I think, fear, this is going to be a turning point and Calgary may not come back the same this time. 

Anyways, no more Debbie Downer…

This child has been so textbook and, therefore, easily predictable. He also just likes to hang out and observe. He was sleeping through the night until recently, just in time for the 4 month sleep regression. He hasn’t rolled or been one to grab at things yet because his laid back personality I think has trumped the need to meet those milestones. That being said, he fusses a lot when he’s been in his car seat for too long, he doesn’t want to eat if there’s too much going on around him and if he’s over stimulated (and hangry), and we think he’s a private pooper. Putting him to bed sometimes requires an extra snuggle (or 5) and a soft discussion of why sleep is so good and what we’ll be doing tomorrow. 

We spent Sunday night in the mountains for an early valentines because we’ll have the kids on actual valentines. We went for a mini hike with the boy, something we’ve been doing a lot more frequently than we did before he was born. Then walked around the little mountain town of Banff and had a nice dinner. Little Man fussed a bit so luckily I had a bottle of liquid formula to feed him. He pounded it back then proceeded to vom 1/4 of it up despite burp breaks. Sorry fine dining patrons. 

All day he didn’t poo. Even after formula. The next day, yesterday, he also didn’t until we got home and he unleashed right before getting in the tub with Man. He also peed so we were stoked for a clean tub party. Moments after I handed Little Man off to Man in the tub, and began everything I wanted to get done I hear “he shit on me”. In a surprisingly calm voice. I ran back over, what? “He shit all over me”. I peeked in the tub and saw the suspended poop just hovering over Man’s hairy leg. 

Let me tell ya, your mind sure races when you are thinking of ways to get sloppy poo out of a large white tub that two people also happen to be in. Man handled it better than I did considering he doesn’t even handle poopy diapers. Much scrubbing later, everything is cleaned. 

Some pics…

   
    
    
    
 

Quiet Reading Feed

I’m missing a lot of people who’s blogs were so active a year ago, our community felt a little more bustling (of those I knew to follow). At one point I felt like I was following too many people to keep up with who’s who in this zoo. 

Now it seems some are too busy or uninspired to post (me, right here, guilty). Some haven’t had the change they wanted and retyping the same results over and over are too painful. Sometimes typing it out seems to diminish that little seed of hope while simultaneously trying to get some support and share experiences. 

I hope during our shared radio silence that good things are filling your lives. I’m grateful for those who keep writing but understanding of those who don’t. 

-ssm 

Where has time gone?

Its like this little man is a vortex for time. My days fly by in between feeding, comforting, burping, cleaning, etc let alone house stuff. 

I started a post 2-3 weeks ago and it still sits in progress on my computer. 

Currently I’m feeding a sleepy boy while my step kids sleep-in upstairs. 

Christmas eve yay 🙂 

Man is finishing up work and I’ll soon start the batter for cookies for our Christmas eve shindig tonight at Man’s sister’s with her family, their mom and her husband. 

Breastfeeding has gotten easier. It was a huge challenge at first because Boy would just sooth suck and im not really physically built it seems for breast feeding. Many tears were shed as I felt like in the old days my baby wouldn’t survive because he couldn’t latch. I only had my friends quickly remind me I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant without science and help in the first place…

This can be a rough(er) time for some of you while you’re surrounded by prodding family or tiny nieces and nephews. I just want to acknowledge that and say my heart is with you. I hope instead, your heart is filled with their love and good company. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a happy, lucky New Year. 

For those who’ve been wondering, here are some pictures of little Brock’s progress till now. (He slept a lot for the first few weeks because of his jaundice).

   
  

   
    
    
  
  
   
   
   
   

Baby Brock’s Birth

2 weeks postpartum to the day.

I’m not even sure how to begin this post. Where do I begin?!

Friday Oct 16 – Mom arrives at the airport and it was the smoothest pickup ever (usually there’s some sort of confusion amplified by my well-meaning mother). Went to the mall then picked up Man.

Saturday Oct 17 – Got our nails did 🙂

Sunday Oct 18 – Sweating profusely with anticipation for tomorrow (baby boy’s due date and c-section scheduled date). Woke up before everyone and sat on the deck with the kittens and some decaf. Rubbed my belly enjoying the last day that I will ever be pregnant. Man got a GoPro and has started to document our birth journey. That evening we left mom at home and went to Fish Creek, a large inner city park, and had some Starbucks while we enjoyed our last moments of the lifestyle we’ve lived for the past 6 years.

Monday Oct 19 – Woke up at 5 AM to be at the hospital for 6 AM. Packed up the car and Mom, Man and I were off. I’m very nervous. Get checked in and we are up to the maternity ward before 7 AM, surgery is at 8. They hook me up to the IV, I didn’t nearly pass out like egg-retrieval IV, but I was a bit woozy. Two monitors are strapped to my belly, one for my contractions and one for baby’s heart-rate. It’s so loud I ask the nurse to turn it down low. We were in a dark hospital room, alone and the whole situation was overwhelming without the booming heart-rate of my Little Man in my ear. It was less reassuring and more like a stressful scene in a movie where they have a fast heart-rate sound effect to raise yours.
The nurse asked how long I had been having contractions for. I was? they figured today or tomorrow would have been natural go-time if I wasn’t scheduled. Almost every time I had a contraction, Little Man’s heart rate would drop. That got kind of scary for me.
We waited in the dark room for the longest hour ever then it was time to go. Mom went downstairs with her crochet to the coffee shop, Ry got into his scrubs, and I went ahead to the OR to get prepped. The epidural was scary but fine. The anesthesiologist was amazing. I told him I may get woozy and he said that’s normal and when I did, he was right there with more drugs to knock back whatever was making me ill. I felt so exposed with no blankets just strapped to a bed with no pants. I kept trying to move my legs to “test” the drugs and obviously I couldn’t. They measured my belly, put the screen up, and Man finally joined us. They said Little Man was likely a little dude so they had made the incision a bit small. Turns out Little Man was tucked away and was a bit bigger than what they were expecting. I was told I would feel like someone was jumping on my chest when they were pulling him out, and it was so crazy. My shoulder literally felt like it was breaking and I started to heave from the pain on my chest. A nurse appears out of thin air to catch my invisible empty stomach heaves.

8:44 AM – I finally get to hear the first cry we all want to hear. It’s just as magical as you can imagine. They show me him from across the small room. He’s so pale and his features are so red including his hair (which is also because of where he just came from). Doctor confirms it’s a boy and I cannot even believe they just pulled this little person from me. Man gets called over to watch the measurement and testing process while I get stitched up.

Birth Video (long) no surgery shots version.

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Baby T

Hello everyone! At round 8:40 this morning I delivered, via c section, our baby boy. 

Meet Mr Brock River Harrison T. 

7 lbs 8 ounces hidden up inside me. 

Will post about it all soon…sleepy.

   
 

38 weeks @ 4:30 am

The last few mornings I’ve been waking up around 3:30 am to pee instead of 1 or 2:30, which is strange because for a week there I was nearly about to wet the bed even when just trying to roll out of it. I like to wake up sooner the better because then I get a longer sleep before actual wake-up time at 5:30. I got Man to wake me up when he got back from hockey last week (around midnight) and that worked well, I’ll get him to do it again during his next game…

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Yesterday I think my adrenaline was high because I knew later that day I was going to be dealing with Man’s ex in regards to a new agreement that they’re trying to work out (mentioned somewhere in this post). They can get a bit umm emotional, so to avoid too much (more) drama, I volunteered as a mediator. I think she has a deep seeded lack of respect for men in general from what I’ve seen in the past with her boyfriends, then adding on the fact that Man left her slightly unstable self, plus his residual anger that she moved their kids away is usually a recipe for disaster as you can imagine. This was a follow-up style phone conversation that I knew we were having but there was still potential for her to unleash on me so it made me nervous all day. My poor Little-Man must have thought momma was hiding from a bear all day. Sparing details, it went well but that outcome was unknown at 4 am yesterday morning, so I stayed awake after my nightly/early morning pee. Luckily napping periodically after I dropped Man off for his commute.
I’m not sure why I’m awake again this morning – maybe left over adrenaline? She’s so unpredictable, even though we agreed and found common ground, my trust for her is low due to past patterns. I can’t predict the future though so I should just drop it.

Usually when I go back to bed Little-Man adjusts and seems to attempt to stand up in my horizontal uterus while I’m laying on my side. This morning he didn’t. He didn’t adjust at all. Maybe because I layed back down on the same side I woke up on. So I switched. Nothing. Okay so maybe I need to wait a few minutes. He’s never been good with consistent movement timing. He’ll be going crazy for a long time, then quiet for a while. None of this every 10 minutes out whatever it is. Maybe yesterday’s stress had made him super sleepy. After what felt like 15 minutes I felt a little boot but then nothing again after that. Apparently my mom was induced because I stopped moving so you can imagine where my mind was going. Do I wake up Man or do I wait a little longer? Was it actually 15 excruciating minutes, or was it just 5? I’ll have some food and see what happens. Yogurt and granola with honey is my go-to snack so I made that and scoffed it down before starting my post. And waited. Now he’s rolling around and making it hard to sit comfortably, thank goodness. My tummy is dancing and my heart is relieved 🙂

  
Cherry dream bar recipe, seriously amazing

Last Thursday was my last day of work! It was a tough day but I’m happy to have the time now to meander about and prepare. I’ve started the process of officially changing my name (yes, I hadn’t yet and it has been 2 years) so I’m glad I have weekdays off to deal with the government and banks. I can’t believe I spent 10 months at my job, remember when I was just hoping for it? I felt like I blinked and it was gone, I really enjoyed my work family for the most part and the work was perfect for me. I dealt with a lot of oil field folks who I never met in person, all phone calls, and they were so kind with their parting words for me. I left feeling special. It couldn’t have been better timing for mat leave selfishly. I’m a contractor as I’ve mentioned and they don’t get held onto as tightly during layoffs. I survived two cuts and a third is actually today. Our department was told to not leave their desks between 8-11 because a manager would be coming by with an HR rep (of the few who were left after Thursday’s HR cuts) and letting certain people go. I think after this, a quarter of the company will be reduced. Sad times. I’ll be thinking of them all day.

Yesterday I went for my now weekly-ish drs appointment, only to remember once there that it’s today lol. Oh well it’s close to one of the government buildings I have to go back to in order to change my SIN.

I’m gunna ask about this soft spot under my bellybutton because it feels different than just a fat pocket. I wonder if they’ll check to see if I’m starting to dilate or whatever. 2 checkups ago the Dr checked because I was getting pains and high umm moisture, everything checked out tightly sealed though. I can’t imagine today will be much different. My friend who has two kids had her baby by this point – 37 weeks. She got her membranes stimulated and had her baby later that day (in Feb). I honestly can’t imagine having him out yet! He feels like he’s still so little.

  
For our date this weekend we got some maternity photos done and the package includes newborn as well 🙂 my man surprised me and I’m really glad we did it! I honestly wasn’t caring about getting photos done other than our weekly one (which we need to do still, shit)… then I started thinking, that’s all we really have, and they’re all of me standing in a room by myself. I’m so glad Man was on the same mental page as me and we got some pro shots together. 

  

Mom arrives in 10 days and I need to look into hotels for my dad… He got us a nice Graco pack n play so I’m excited about that. We had a different one on our registry but it was discontinued and this one he choose gets great reviews 🙂 way to go dad (likely 100% fluke lol). He also got us a vibrating chair thing which we already had so I used that towards the ubbi diaper pail for our cloth diapers… when we get those lol, whenever that will be. I checked back with ikea on their crib situation (not that we actually have room for it with A’s bedroom not quite converted to baby’s room yet, and not like we’ll need it right away) and they plan to still sell cribs, it’s just none are available in Canada lol. So hopefully in a couple months… at least we have the pack n play if Little Man grows out of his bassinet overnight and we need temporary sleeping arrangements.

I should wake Man up it’s 5:50 and I don’t hear movement.

It’s now 7 and I should shower… but first homemade blueberry pancakes (and by homemade I mean I added frozen blueberries to pancake mix).

-ssm

Here’s some other pics:  

   He’s practicing for baby lol

 My company

   Man distracted by kittens in the morning.

 Our date week a couple weeks ago 🙂 so fun!

Week 36 – Step mom & Mom

Two weeks left of work. 6 actual days at work left… wait, what!? What happened to the 40 days left? I’m getting sad about not seeing my co-worker / new friend every day, but am so looking forward to not being strapped to a desk all day. My legs… They hurt when I stand, they hurt when I sit too long. I take breaks and do some stairs to keep my blood flowing. My back gets sore, so I turn on my heating pad (the one my amazing Man got me on retrieval day). It’s been a god sent.

As I lay here, nearly 180 degrees flat, my feet are swelling. Man and his friend are jamming so I’ve tried to make myself a kind of comfy space on the bed with pillows supporting my back and belly. Man has hockey even later after this. He’ll be so tired tomorrow.


Belly on pillow with protector cat and gift cat at my feet, true crime in the background.

I was feeling faint before dinner, like blood pressure related (I have low bp naturally, small changes can make me shaky… or apparently dizzy I think). I have checked (multiple times) to make sure it isn’t blood sugar related and it’s not. Anyways, better now after I sat and ate. Overall, today has been something else. The instant I woke up, I felt anxious. Thinking about anything is making me anxious, I want to regurgitate it out all over this blog.

We are dealing with some drama in the Man’s children front (more like his x). The kids are okay and that’s all that matters truly, but it festers and infects anything else that has a remote bit of stress. This weekend Man had to have the party / “no you’re not drinking” conversation with his 14 year old. When you’re 7 hours away it adds to the stress because you have to trust the other parent to not be naive… who has never partied.. and who was about to trust a 14 year old who asked to drink and is then promised not to, that they wouldn’t drink… at a park… at night *sigh*. We were hoping not until she was 16 for this junk. In their province, high school starts at grade 9 and I think that’s a mistake, especially for kids who really worry about fitting in. This wasn’t thee big thing but I don’t want to talk about that until it’s hopefully solved.

When we got home today we found 4 huge cat barfs. Naturally, 3/4 were on carpet. I wonder if my protector cat can feel my stress hormones in addition to the pregnancy ones. Ranging from hair ball to projectile-stair-case-massacre they were quite the cleaning feat for our little Bissell.

There is no progress in the basement for the 4th bedroom once baby is born and not much we can do until the unspoken issue above is resolved. The nursery remains the eldest’s room with just a bunch of baby junk in it. I don’t know how diaper changes will work in her room when she’s sleeping when they are here. I guess I’ll have to move everything out that we’ll need for baby.

We hadn’t bought a crib yet because we were planning on using our bassinet for the first little while. Ikea was the place we were gunna go because the cribs are way less, not overly extravagant, and safe. Well apparently ikea Canada has decided no more cribs… so now we’re like, shit. We need to go to some furniture store and spend double on a fancier-than-what-we-care-for-crib. Not as if we have the space for a crib anyways as the baby room still has the twin bed in it for the eldest. We’ll figure something out, but we need more space and soon.


Bassinet with cat defectors in place for now.

Thinking about the food processor we got (for making baby food when that time comes) stressed me out because I don’t know where it’ll go.

Better news… Man did a mini road trip this weekend with 2 of his friends to see ACDC, so that was cool. I bought a “Winter Magic” coloring book and it truly is distressing. I also got some baby/kid books and Man wrote in them. He signed both “love Mom and Dad”. It took me so off guard – that’s me! I’m used to seeing “Dad and Kara”, but now I’m Mom too. Something I wasn’t ever sure I’d get to be. I thought I’d be “Kara” and this awkward second best forever. I absorbed this moment of truth and welled up over the roaring little tiger on page 1 of “One Tiger Roars” (a counting book).

Aside from the bedroom space, I’m really not stressing about baby’s needs, in fact we still need to order the cloth diapers (we have newborn disposables). Speaking of which, for the hospital bag, our hospital recommends bringing diapers, swaddle blankets, and clothes. Am I the only one who finds this odd? Like, don’t hospitals have diapers and blankets?? I’m pretty sure I’m gunna say fuck-it to that. We will bring clothes and a cozy car seat blanket, but I really don’t feel the need to bring something the hospitals should have lol. I am SO not nesting. I am more concerned about snacks for Man and Mom that I bought for the hospital stay.

Man’s sister and her family who moved away 5 years ago are moving back and will be here by Thursday. They had moved across the country because Ontario had better coverage for one of their children who has special needs. I don’t know her very well and am super excited to try and develop a relationship with her. They are even looking at our neighborhood! Flights out there are so expensive, Man was only able to visit once in that time and me not at all. This makes me so excited for Christmas and other holidays! Having Italian relatives got me used to big family dinners when I was a kid, then my parents divorced and other family moved, these dinners happened less. Now I’m so excited for big dinners again and lots of activity!

No baby journal today because nothing much has changed. Last weigh-in was only 23 lbs gained, down 2 (stress? less sugar?). I guess I’m measuring okay otherwise cuz Dr wasn’t concerned. My next appointment is on Thursday (doing weeklies now).

What are your thoughts on telling (or not) your ivf / fertility treatment conceived child about how they were conceived? Even if it’s hypothetical 🙂 (for now!)

It for now
-SSM

35 weeks, 5 to go

Wow, this process seemed so long at one point, but now it’s creeping up and growing ever faster to the big day. The desired result of this huge process is nearly here. It’s baffling. It’s much like a wheelbarrow being pushed up this long, time consuming, energy sucking hill… only to roll over the crest and start picking up speed uncontrollably the further it travels down. I am definitely in the panic-our-lives-are-about-to-change phase, can you tell? I am so excited. Over the moon and yet in utter disbelief. In my brain I know I have a baby rolling around and pushing my stomach out into lopsided shapes. I trust the ultrasounds and that my Drs would have said something looks funny by now. Another larger part of my brain can’t truly believe a baby is set to soon emerge from me. It could be an octopus (I just wrote “ocupus” and it took me a good minute to figure out why that was wrong) and I would only be slightly more surprised than a healthy baby. Please be healthy. Please be strong.

My wardrobe selection has been reduced to about 5 bottoms that are acceptable for work and errands. My attitude is pretty sour and abrasive. My Little Man has been in the same position for months now, two nights ago moved to the other side, which was a) a painful experience b) so weird to have him kicking at my left ribs. He rolled his way back overnight to the usual position so.. it was a valiant effort. He’s stubborn already.

You know how I said I’d never get waxed again? Well I went a week ago lol. It was much finer and less painful, so I really like this option! I’m worried by the time I heal from baby etc it’ll all have come back thick and I’ll experience that first day again… *cringe*. It’s so nice to not be itchy like 2 days after shaving.

How far along: 35 weeks + 1 day

  

Baby’s size: Canary Melon, 20” ish long and 5 lbs ish heavy
 Lol!!

Total weight gain: ~ 25 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Nothing new, any pants that are comfy or long skirts. My 3 mat tank tops and then various non-maternity slouchy sweaters.

Stretch marks: Nope. Nearly… there…. Using lots of bio-oil, coconut oil, and Palmer’s lotion multiple times a day.

Sleep: Well, I spoke too soon last time about my bladder not waking me up. Now it’s minimum once but sometimes twice a night. I wake up when I have to roll over because my hip flexors are so so sore it’s like my legs are breaking off when I try to switch sides. Remember how Barbie can only do splits one way? Well it’s like someone is trying to make this doll do the to-the-side splits (with about the same results).

Symptoms/Feeling: Nose still super dry, tummy looks veiny (as a red-head, I’m pretty transparent as it is.. I’m surprised we can’t watch Baby T like a tummy TV), tired, not nesting much other than the odd organization fit that lasts 20 minutes. Horrible skin – like I need a trowel for my concealer. My hair is increasingly straight. It’s usually just fuzzy wavy, however, lately it’s been straightening out. Maybe because the weight of more of it, either way I have an appointment for some layers on Friday! Oh swollen feet if I sit or stand too long. They look like giant blisters. Even with compression socks. Sexy. 

Best moment of last week: Feeling Little Man switch sides two nights ago and having it dawn on me that he made this little decision on his own in there. How uncomfortable it was to have him move and how strange it felt for him to be adjusted differently, just drove home that this is real. Weird hey.

Miss anything: Wine. Pants fitting. Being able to put on socks and pants without some odd maneuvers. Not taking 30 minutes to conceal my blemishes alone. 

Movement: Kicks in my right ribs while a larger mass (I believe his back) pushes out of my left side tummy. I feel him lots every day. It used to be after like 30 minutes of eating, but now it’s even sooner when I eat. Every night when I lay down Little Man adjusts and we hold my stomach and act like proud parents on the sidelines, amazed at his strength. I will miss the little spontaneous surprises of him in my belly.

Food cravings: Calcium, sugar, then when I have too much of those, veggies.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Stress

Have you started to show yet: Finally yep. People 70/30 offering me seats on public transit – and those who are most likely not to? Those in the priority seating…

Gender: Boy 🙂

Labor signs: Definitely not. Sure felt like it when he moved that other night. Scary! When I overdid myself one night I had Braxton Hicks throughout the night in my sleep. So uncomfortable!


Belly button in or out:
Flush… please hold on little guy! I laughed a little too hard at a coworker’s joke the other day and felt it pop out then in again. Yikes!

Wedding rings on or off: Band on, promise ring on.

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly moody and extra sensitive.  That damn Huggies diaper commercial gets me (and Man) every time lol I think this is it (you’d get the idea at least)… 

Also an overwhelming sense of not giving a shit.

Looking forward to: Meeting our little man, going for walks with him, last day of work Oct 1! Mom coming to town around due date. Today feeling extra mopey that Man won’t be with me when I’m home for the year to keep me company. I’ll miss him.

Purchases for babies: Everything “necessary” that was left (bassinet stand, sheets, some disposables for NB and next size up, car seat adapter for stroller, swing, etc), all that’s left are cloth diapers and a proper diaper bin (we were given a Diaper Genie which would only work for the disposables).

Next Dr’s is tomorrow, maybe he’ll give me a little more information (actually, I think I’m meeting his partner Dr). You get so used to be so closely monitored during this process, then you are handed off to a delivery Dr. and they only care about your weight and let you ask any questions you may have – but what about the questions I don’t know to ask?? Maybe tomorrow will be different…

Oh, Man and I have still have been following through with our 12 weeks of dates (the third trimester intimacy assurance). Feel free to follow along on Instagram. You can access me here.  

  Out for Man’s big BDay dinner 🙂

  

~SSM

29 Weeks :)

A little update plus some bullets.

This picture couldn’t be more stereotypical. I was about to head out and pick up some ice cream at around 9:30PM.

  • I can no longer see my lady bits without sucking baby boy up and that is the weirdest feeling ever. So I stopped shaving which was itchy horrible TORTURE and got waxed yesterday. OMG. I’ve been waxed once before and I’m still traumatized. Despite thinking “I’m never doing this EVERRRR again” while exposed in a humiliating “butterfly” pose on the table last night, I hopefully can go 2 more times before the big day. The pain is gone now other than it hurts to move lol I am wearing Man’s boxers.
    PS – Starting this post out with TMI basically summarizes my lack of caring lately.
  • We have made no progress in nesting Little Man’s room. I think I’ll start ordering some decor today.
  • Kids are coming for a second, 1 week visit in a week!
  • Not much response to our baby shower invite 😦 kind of just want to take the “shower” out of it and call it just a BBQ. It may also be because someone people don’t know emailed them, instead of us. We will be following up with those who haven’t RSVP’d tonight I think.
  • Been feeling lazy, like the complete opposite of nesting. It’s bliss and Man has been picking up the slack. He’s amazing *swoon*
  • Did glucose blood test and passed! Didn’t think I would because at the 45 min point I started feeling really sick.
  • Already the idea of not having him in me, not keeping me company, makes me sad. I want to meet the little man so bad, but we all know how special these 9 months are, whether or not we have yet to experience them.
  • Starting last week and until we meet Little Man, we are going on 1 date a week. Don’t need to spend money, just do something different together. Last week was lunch at a yummy restaurant called Charcut. I think this week we will be going for a drive, outside the city for some ice cream. Monday is our anniversary so we will likely have next-week’s playing double duty as that.

Week 1

How far along: Into 29 weeks (omg like 10 weeks left??)

Baby’s size: A cabbage. Where do they justify these sizes? is it weight, is it length? Do they even really know? ~16-17″.

Total weight gain: about 20 lbs. I can’t even believe this. I asked my Dr yesterday if I was gaining too much because my legs have grown exponentially compared to my stomach (since the get-go). He said everything was right on track and normal. Well that’s good considering I feel like a beached whale – struggling just as hard to move or do anything on land.

Maternity clothes: Nothing new, so not many. The 3 tank tops and larger fitting normal clothes like before. I bought some larger normal underwear and a pair of size large workout capris from Wal-Mart. Those still feel tight around my fluid filled legs but “looser” than my other capris. I’m starting to emotionally feel the weight gain as my pants get tighter. Don’t ask me what I was expecting, it’s just a deeply sensitive issue for me since… forever. I don’t know how I’m going to survive for 2 more months of work without buying bigger work clothes, but I can’t justify buying clothes for 2 months – 36 actual days of work left to dress myself, 41 if I stay an extra week.

Stretch marks: Nope. Sometimes I startle myself with all the scratch marks. Multiple times a day I use coconut oil and Palmer’s butter.

Sleep: Has gotten better 🙂 maybe I’m getting used to the hip pain, because it’s definitely still there, and I still only wake up once to go pee, sometimes not at all. And I drink a lot! I think I’ve trained my bladder that sleep is more important haha, or maybe we should invest in a waterproof sheet.

Symptoms/Feeling: Nose still super dry, sore mid-back, moments of emotional distress on my body changes, tired yet restless. Vein-ier legs.

Best moment of last week: Booking baby’s due date – we were initially going to go with Dr’s recommendation of Oct 13 (6 days before Baby T’s predicted due date), but I just have a really hard time with the idea of pulling him out sooner. We don’t mind Friday the 13ths but some people would be all weird about it. I know I’ll be at the point where I will want him out by then, but I’ll make the choice now before I’m too uncomfortable. So Oct 21 is his delivery day 🙂 if he chooses to come out sooner, then he comes out sooner. I’m on the wait list for the 19th just in case 2 days after expected due date is pushing it.

Miss anything: Tuna, though a had a 1/2 of a sandwich with chips shoved in it during our time on vacation. Red wine. Being comfortable in my body. Mostly.

Movement: Always rolling around, sounds like he’s head down now, according to Dr. I usually feel his little feetsies in my right ribs pushing out. He definitely favors his weight on my right side. I’m assuming he’s facing my left side because all the lower activity is usually around my left hip, where I would assume his arms stretch out. Sometimes he gets cheeky and kicks out because I’ll feel something in the center of my upper torso. He will have a couple days of big activity then quiet down for a few days. I figure maybe this is him growing?

Food cravings: Anything with calcium. I’m not much of a cow milk fan, but like other bloggers, I have no problem drinking it now (usually ice cream etc makes me uncomfortable and I prefer the idea of almond milk). Yogurt is my main b*tch though. I love that stuff. Plain flavour with some raw honey and berries, or granola, or chia seeds, or straight into my mouth-hole mmmm.
Week 28, just before my glucose test of course, I went on a sugar binge. Been weaning off of it.

Anything making you queasy or sick: As with my finger-meets-guillotine incident, anything about injury. I was reading C-Section info this morning on the “what to expect” app and had to put it down because I started feeling light-headed. I got to the part that says “they put a blanket up but you can watch if you want with a mirror. They make a small incision…” and that was enough. I’m better not knowing which is SO unlike me.

Have you started to show yet: Yep, finally. Have been offered seats twice on public transit. Yep twice. in like 2 weeks @ 2 times a day. It’s okay, I’m still good with standing but week 28 I was REALLY tired and thankfully that’s when the seats were offered.

Week 28-ish

Gender: Boy 🙂

Labor signs: Nope, no Braxton Hicks either from what I can tell.

Belly button in or out: In, still able to wear belly-ring but looks weird under clothes. My Step daughter got me a cute one that is a mini “Baby on Board” sign.

Wedding rings on or off: On. I traded wearing my engagement ring for my promise ring which is dainty, looser, yet just as special 🙂

Happy or moody most of the time: Pretty good, moments of increased emotional sensitivity aka crying at all things baby related.

Looking forward to: Not going to work anymore! 8-9 weeks left, of those only 3-4 are full (5 day) weeks yay! Finishing our shopping one day…

Purchases for babies: 

SAVINGS:
Some used onesies, used cozy snow-suits – one that’s like a sack and extra cozy, two that have legs for walks when he’s in the carrier. Used Stonz water resistant booties, and used leather Robeez. TIP* I was told to buy a larger size because then you can pop those suckers over their footed onesies when it’s cold out. Also a used glider with ottoman (in immaculate shape!) for $150.

SPLURGES:
We were told by two separate, unrelated stores, that UppaBaby was raising their prices. When I heard it the second time, it was days away from the date they were raising their strollers (August 1st), so we immediately ordered online and picked up the Vista in store. The Vista went up $150 ish. First, I love that stroller. Second, all I had to do to set it up was unfold it and put on the wheels. THAT’S IT. Like plug them in.

   Ignore the tinfoil on our couches – a precautionary measure since this.


Amazing stroller. I told our neighbour who’s due in a few weeks because she wanted one too, and she told me that Toys R Us was having a huge car seat event, so we bought the Peg 4-35 for $30 off 🙂 the pattern we wanted had to be ordered online, so I’m waiting to hopefully receive it today! The shipping was $3 so that’s pretty OK with us to choose our own style.

Oh a car seat cover. I thought I would be thrifty and make it, but by the time we added up the measly small amount of materials, it was going to cost $10 more than buying one!! and they’re like $35. Ridiculous. So we ditched the fabric and got one pre-made (as well as a wubanubs soother).


Off to bake and do some laundry!

~SSM